We say that when sex is going well in a relationship, it usually accounts for about 10% of what people focus on. When it’s not going well, it jumps to about 90%. Because Ms. Reichlin specialized for years in sex therapy, (today her speciality is a broader focus of relationships in general), she brings decades of experience and training to her work with any couple. Finding a book that suits you and your partner’s situation and reading it together, especially when combined with the help of a trained therapist, is a great step toward resuming or enhancing any couples’ sexual connection.
1. Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages
and…
Down-to-earth guide for Low-Sex couples written by well respected therapist/author.
Sexual Awareness: Couple Sexuality for the
Twenty-First Century Barry & Emily McCarthy
Both these books are by Dr. Barry McCarthy, for whom I have high respect. (I once brought him to Houston to do a lead a seminar for professionals at the Texas Research Institute for Mental Sciences.) If you would like a basic, step-by-step guide that embodies the best and latest of traditional sex therapy practices, you will absolutely find it in any and all of his books.
Excellent book on why sexual desire wanes, even in the best of loving relationships.
2. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel
One of the world’s most respected voices on sexuality today, Esther Perel offers a bold, insightful take on intimacy and sex and why passion is often so difficult to sustain in a committed love relationship. Also check out the author’s TED Talk: The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship.
Best selling author, Michele Weiner-Davis. approaches the problem of low sexual desire from a solution-oriented perspective.
3. The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide
Michele Weiner Davis
From the Amazon website: 4 stars and 168 reviews. ” If you want to stop fighting about sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse, then you need this book. In The Sex-Starved Marriage, bestselling author Michele Weiner Davis will help you understand why being complacent or bitter about ho-hum sex might cost you your relationship.”
A unique and important book that explains why often the needs of the female partner in a heterosexual relationship, must be addressed first.
4. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
Emily Nagoski
The most common sexual complaint for heterosexual couples? The wife’s loss of desire. This book explains why, in heterosexual relationships, the female’s concerns must often be addressed before the male partner’s needs will be met. It’s not fair, to be sure, but biology is more or less in the driver’s seat here. From the Amazon website: *A NEW YORK TIMES BESTELLER* An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—that will radically transform your sex life.”
4. Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido
Andrew Goldstein and Marianne Brandon
Written by an Imago therapist and accomplished sex therapist, this book offers couples ways to communicate about, and improve, the sexual passion in their relationship.
5. Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together
Tammy Nelson
A highly experienced sex therapist and Imago therapist, Tammy Nelson has written a great book combining the powerful Imago Dialogue with expert suggestions on how to enhance the passion in your relationship. Not for beginners nor those who find talking about sex a little difficult, but great for any couple willing to use some safe experimentation to spice things up.
6. Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship
David Schnarch, Ph.D.
Definitely not a beginner’s manual, but highly recommended for adults who are serious about taking their sexual relationship (and more) to the next level.
A staple in every sex therapist’s tool box for decades, this book on male sexuality answers most questions about male sexual functioning, problems, etc.
7. The New Male Sexuality (Revised Edition)
Bernie Zilbergeld.
Despite the title, this book has actually been around a long time. Most trained sex therapists have used it as the “bible” on male sexuality (for heterosexual males in a committed love relationship). Though sexual norms have changed a lot in the years since this was written, with it’s updates, this is still one of the best and most authoritative books available for men and their partners on male sexuality.